Sunday, January 3, 2010

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel

Me: Well, the movie delivered what I had expected. Going into this movie, I was really expecting some kind of experience akin to anal rape and in that respect, the movie did not fail to deliver. I really like David Cross, but find his role in movies like these to be depressing. Add that to a bunch of images trying to show off a bunch of 8 inch tall pubescent female chipmunks trying to be sex symbols while covering songs like Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" is oddly disturbing and makes me wonder if we are marketing to create a new generation of furries.

Still, part of the tribulations of being a parent is that you pay for all of the good things you get out of it, so I went and took Molly and her cousin to see the movie in the theatre because they really wanted to see it. We took Molly's cousin because she wanted to see it as well, and I was nice enough that I realized that there was no reason to make my brother suffer and see the movie as well when I could just bite the bullet for the two of us.

The movie was dreadful, but the experience wasn't. This was the first movie that Molly really got into the action and story on the screen. She was rocking out and bopping along to all of the songs, but she got into the story and action as well. There was one scene where the Chipmunks and Chipettes were on a remote control helicopter that was out of control, spinning around like mad and threatening a firey wreak of a crash that would have made me laugh, but made every kid in the audience burst out in confusion and tears. Anyhow, Jeanette, who was on the helicopter, shouts out, "Grab my ankles!" as she makes this slow-motioned Die-Hard style dive for the remote control, snatching it just before it falls as the other Chipmunks grab her just before she falls to her doom. It was seriously an over-the-top action moment usually placed in drek like Independence Day, but it was in the Chipmunks movie. Anyhow, as she catches the remote and as the Chipmunks catch her, saving them all from childhood dream smashing wreckage, Molly jumped up off of her seat and started to wildly applaud.

So the movie was terrible, but Molly was fun to watch during it. All in all, that made it not just tolerable, but fun.

Molly: (I will be transcribing as much as I can from what she says. Her review will be given in Q&A form, primarily due to her age. And this is a real transcript of our conversation. She's anxious to do this and is waiting by my laptop. I'll format it afterward.)

Chuckie: Molly, what did you think of the Chipmunks Squeakquel movie?
Molly: Funny.

Chuckie: What was funny about it?
Molly: Um. "All the singelay" (This is how she has translated and pronounced the Chipette's singing version of "All the Single Ladies"). Here's a spongie to wash you, Daddy. (rubs a toy sponge on my arm while singing "Spongie, spongie, spongie.")

Chuckie: Okay sweetie, that’s enough. What was your favorite part of the movie?
Molly: Um, "All the singelay".

Chuckie: So you liked the music in the movie?
Molly: Yeah. I want to tell you something, Daddy.
Chuckie: Sure.
Molly: About the boy chipmunks.
Chuckie: Okay
Molly: The boys sing with the girls.

Chuckie: So, was it a good movie?
Molly: Yeah. Its kind of spongy.
Chuckie: No, the movie, not the sponge. Was it a good movie?
Molly: Yeah, cause it was very funny. I'm cutting pizza with a knife, Daddy. (Pretends to cut, then hands the sponge to me as my slice of pizza.)
Chuckie: Thank you, Pixie. What else do you have to say about the movie?
Molly: Um, nothing else.

Chuckie: Okay, so how many stars would you give the movie?
Molly: Um. Five, Daddy. How about moons?
Chuckie: Okay, how many moons would you give it?
Molly: Um, five.
Chuckie: Out of how many?
Molly: Five.
Chuckie: So the the movie gets five stars and five moons out of a possible five stars and five moons?
Molly: And five suns.

Chuckie: Would you suggest that other people should see the movie?
Molly: Yeah. All of them should. Its good.

So there you have it. Our opinions differ a bit on the movie, but if you have a kid who is really into this, I would suggest sitting through and watching them instead of the screen, because what is happening in the seat next to you is far more interesting than the crap on the screen.

Chuckie's Rating: 1/2 Star Out of 5
Molly's Rating: 5 Out of 5 Stars, 5 Out of 5 Moons, 5 Out of 5 Suns

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