|The Doctor's deadliest foes.|
Dear Future Molly,
Part of why I have enjoyed writing these review with you is that I think it will be a fun thing for you to look back upon when you are older. You can see how fun you were as a little kid and hopefully you can see the fun I had with you when you read these reviews when you are older.
That being said, I took you to see Katy Perry: Part of Me today. I took you because Mommy did not want to see it, despite you playing tons of Katy Perry songs on your computer for her. After each song, you would ask her, "Did you know that Katy Perry" did this song? And when Mommy would feign surprise, you would then ask, "So do you want to see the movie now?" Mommy's answer was always no.
As a result, I decided that I would take you to see the movie. I only tell you all of this, Future Molly, because this the standard by which each and all of the Father's Day presents I receive from you from this point on will be judged.
Just thought that you should be aware.
I was not looking forward to the movie, but actually, it wasn't that bad. I'm still not exactly what you would call a Katy Perry fanatic, but the movie was surprisingly entertaining and interesting enough.
Essentially the movie follows Katy Perry around for a yearlong tour and you see some stuff on stage, interspersed with backstage stuff as well as interviews with families and friends of Katy Perry. The end result is a movie that has a somewhat inspirational message for young girls to be themselves. Considering the fact that these messages are few and far between these days, I have to say that I admire it for that.
Basically, it's more than a concert footage film, but less than a real in-depth bio pic. But ultimately, if you're a Katy Perry fan, it's fun. And if you're ambivalent toward her music, but have a kid who is a Katy Perry fan, it's worth taking them to just to see how they enjoy it and to share something with them. Even if it forces you to be unsure of how to react when your five-year old daughter hops out of her seat and points at the screen to sing along, singing out, "I want to see your Peacock-cock-cock!"
Molly: (As, usual Molly is next to me as I type this on the computer. Because of her age, her portion of the review will be in Q&A form. I will transcribe what we say and format it later.)
Chuckie: So, what did you think of the movie "Katy Perry: Part of Me"?
Molly: I liked it.
Chuckie: What did you like about it?
Molly: That she had one of my dance recital songs in it.
Chuckie: Well, that song was only a small part of the movie. What else did you like about it?
Molly: That it was fun to watch.
Chuckie: What made it fun?
Molly: That she looked like a Dalek.
Chuckie: What do you mean?
Molly: Like remember how her dress made her kind of look like a Dalek. I told you that in the theater, Dad.
Chuckie: I know, I just wanted you to say it here. What did you think about the songs in the movie?
Molly: I liked all of the songs. But "Firework" was my favorite one.
Chuckie: I saw you bopping and dancing and singing along to a bunch of the songs.
Molly: Yeah. Because I liked them.
Chuckie: Yes, it was very strange to see you hop out of your seat and point at the screen and sing "I want to see your Peacock-cock-cock."
Molly: I like that song.
Chuckie: What do you like about it?
Molly: The lyrics.
Chuckie: So, can you tell me what the movie was about?
Molly: Katy Perry.
Chuckie: Well, yes, but what was she doing in it?
Molly: Singing songs and dancing.
Chuckie: True. But it was following her through a yearlong tour. And showing clips from all of the places she sang and some of what happened backstage.
Molly: Okaaaaay. But I just liked the song bits.
Chuckie: Can you tell me a little more about Katy Perry now and who she is?
Molly: She's popular.
Chuckie: That's true. Anything else?
Molly: She's a girl. Or a gal. You can use either of them, Daddy. You use girls when you are saying "boys and girls" and you use gals if you are saying "gals and boys". So they both mean the same thing, it's just how you use them.
Chuckie: Okay. But I knew she was a girl before we went to the movie.
Molly: Or a gal.
Chuckie: Okay. Regardless. I understood that she had a vagina before we saw the movie. What did you learn from the movie about her though?
Molly: Her and her husband broke up. And I didn't even know that she had a husband before that.
Chuckie: There we go. And how did the break up effect her?
Molly: Like special effects?
Chuckie: What? No. Like how did the break up make her feel and what did she do?
Molly: She felt sad and she cried, but she kept performing.
Chuckie: Did you learn anything else about Katy Perry?
Molly: Um, she sang songs when she was a kid.
Chuckie: Okay, fair enough. Did you find that the movie was inspirational?
Molly: What does that mean?
Chuckie: Like that it inspired you to do something or that you could be something.
Molly: For Halloween? Because I want to be Katy Perry for Halloween now.
Chuckie: Not exactly what I meant, but it works. Does that mean you don't want to be Merida anymore?
Chuckie: So, what would your Katy Perry Halloween costume be like?
Molly: Her having blue hair. A costume that is like one of her dresses, like the one... one of the... like the one... um, the one... not the striped one, the one before that one.
Chuckie: Okay. I don't remember which one that was.
Molly: I don't either, I know that I liked it. That's all that I remember.
Chuckie: Wow. Okay. But speaking of dresses, one of the early songs in the movie had a bunch of costume changes during it. What were you telling me during the movie about it?
Molly: It's a trick.
Chuckie: What do you mean?
Molly: Well, there's like two ways that I think she could do it. Number one that I just thought of, um, well, I thought that she gets in the bag and she takes her clothes off and she paints them black and then she glues them so that they can stick on the inside of the bag. And there's like new clothes in there and she puts them on real quick.
Chuckie: That's one way.
Molly: Number two is that she took her clothes off and she put the new ones on because they were already in the bag.
Molly: Oh! Daddy, I have another idea. Number three is that she got into the bag and, um, um, she, um, and she liked, um, used the snapping power like this guy did in a commercial where he snapped his fingers and everything changed.
Chuckie: Well, first of all, I love that you are debunking the quick-change "magic", Pixie.
Molly: Thank you, Daddy. Maybe she should be on Penn and Teller.
Chuckie: Well, I'll tell you the trick behind quick change acts.
She wears clothes over top of her other
clothes so she just has to take them off real quick and she's already wearing
the next outfit underneath of it.
Molly: Oh yeah! But Daddy you can't put that in our review because people will know the trick then.
Chuckie: You are the best, Sweetie. I'll make sure to edit that out.
Molly: Thanks, Daddy.
Chuckie: Alright, so how would you rate the movie?
Molly: Like giving it stars and stuff?
Chuckie: Yeah, however you want to rate it.
Molly: Um. I'd like to give it, um, ten stars.
Chuckie: Out of how many?
Molly: I would have gaven it nine.
Chuckie: So, ten out of nine stars?
Molly: Yeah. Um, moons too.
Chuckie: How many moons would you give it?
Chuckie: Out of how many?
Molly: Six. Now fireworks.
Chuckie: Alright, how many fireworks do you give the movie?
Molly: (sings) Baby, you're a fiiiiirework! Oh, oh oh! (stops singing) Twelve out of twenty.
Molly: Suns, Daddy!
Chuckie: Alright, how many suns do you give it?
Molly: I give it thirty. I would have gaven it forty.
Chuckie: Then why didn't you?
Molly: Just wanted to.
Chuckie: Alright, so out of how many suns?
Chuckie: So, what kind of people do you think would like this movie?
Molly: Thousands, maybe.
Chuckie: Alright. But why kinds of people will those thousands be?
Molly: Old people and young people. And by older people I mean people older than me and by young people I mean people younger than me.
Chuckie: Fair enough. Do you think that there are people who wouldn't like this movie?
Molly: Yeah. Like maybe Mason. And Lenin. Because Lenin's just a baby and babies don't like older kids stuff.
Chuckie: Do you think Mommy would have liked this movie?
Chuckie: Even though she didn't want to see it?
Molly: I think maybe she'd like it, since she didn't know what it was going to be about so she was just guessing that she wouldn't like it and maybe she was wrong.
Chuckie: Anything else you'd like to say about the movie, Pixie?
Molly: That it was pretty cool to watch. But it would have been cooler if we could have got to watch it in the massage chairs. The End. That's my review.
So that's our review. While my level of ambivalence toward Katy Perry's music remains roughly the same, I have to admit that the movie wasn't that bad to sit through. Really, it's nice to see a positive empowering message toward young girls in a movie, but it is a shame that this is one of the few places where you see it.
The movie is obviously designed for the Katy Perry fan, but as a father of a Perry fan, I'd have to give the experience two and a half out of five stars, though I probably would have given it another half-star if not for the film making me wonder if I should stop my daughter from asking to see someone's peacock-cock-cock.
Molly loved the movie and gave it ten out of nine stars, eleven out of six moons, twelve out of twenty fireworks and thirty out of thirty suns. She also thinks that Katy Perry's quick-change act is good enough to go on Penn and Teller's Fool Us (it's not), and now knows with little mistaking that Katy Perry has bangs and not fangs.